tonight was one of those nights when the clock struck 8:00pm, my little guy finally fell asleep (after getting a very late start on bedtime due to too much fun) and i made that sweet and unfortunate decision to lay for just one more minute with eyes closed, snuggled up next to him.
...and then i woke up...at 11:00pm.
crap. yes, in theory falling asleep next to your sweet little bug at 8:00pm sounds AMAZING. in practice? eh...not so much. when i woke up i was so disoriented. i couldn't immediately piece together what happened, hadn't brushed my teeth or washed my face and finished zero of the "projects" on the to do list. "projects" reads: dishes, prep for dinner tomorrow, house pick-up, finishing half(ish) complete laundry (which wouldn't be such a big deal, if i had my own washer and dryer to speak of), feeding cat, making menu/grocery list for the week (we shop mondays), pretty much anything that should have been done tonight and probably would have made the beginning of my week easier...
in the last three weeks, i've learned a valuable lesson. the first three days of the week are my grunt work days that make the last four a little more laid back, while not letting everything go to pot. this starts sunday night. when sunday night fails...i end up a mess monday morning, which just sets the week up for muck.
so, it is now midnight...my face is washed, i've eaten a snack, i've caught up on some "business" emails, i've done tomorrow's dinner prep, and i'm getting ready to floss/brush, but i still have two loads of dirty laundry waiting patiently on my living room floor (again...no laundry room to call our own) that will just have to wait until tomorrow, four clean and dry loads kickin' it on the table in the communal laundry room (ick), a sink full of dishes, a moderately messy house from life today, and a menu/grocery list to sort out.
good thing i'm WIDE AWAKE...
that, really, is the worst part of this 8pm nap. the rest, eh...i could get by, but now i can't sleep. meaning...tomorrow morning is going to come really, really early. and then tomorrow night will be even harder to make it past 8pm. i'm doomed. ha.
at least i got to blog about it. hahahahahahaha. oh...sigh. ;)
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
march of dimes 2012
yay! the thank you's are finally sent! whew. i really need to work on my thank you sending punctuality. punctuality? can i use that in that context? well, i'm going to. :) anyway...now that they are sent, i feel like i can blog about it. haha.
this was our fourth consecutive year walking for our sofia in the march of dimes march for babies and we really rocked our fundraising!
in 2009, we raised $555.
in 2010, we raised $550.
in 2011 we raised, $500.
and this year, we raised a whoppin $650!
that makes an all-time total of $2255!
we are so proud! and we are so thankful that our family, friends and community have stepped up so willingly to help us out!
the sun was shining bright, there was little shade and we had a 2-year-old in tow. there was a point about halfway through the 3 mile walk that i have to admit, i was ready to be done and was feeling a little uptight. but then i remembered the whole reason we were there. it isn't about walking the fastest or being finished. it is, like life, about the journey.
once i let go of it all, stopped worrying about how long we were out there and gave in to the experience, i found myself enjoying it all so much more. sure, we walked most of it at a 2-year-old's pace, were sweaty and hungry and a little sunburned (i only remember to screen up the babe...doh!) by the end of it, but we got to spend quality time together as a family (which seems tricky to fit in to our busy, busy lives), we got to feel the amazing sense of community, support and love amongst the walkers, especially the other family teams and did a little something to help out babies and families in need.
this was our fourth consecutive year walking for our sofia in the march of dimes march for babies and we really rocked our fundraising!
in 2009, we raised $555.
in 2010, we raised $550.
in 2011 we raised, $500.
and this year, we raised a whoppin $650!
that makes an all-time total of $2255!
we are so proud! and we are so thankful that our family, friends and community have stepped up so willingly to help us out!
the sun was shining bright, there was little shade and we had a 2-year-old in tow. there was a point about halfway through the 3 mile walk that i have to admit, i was ready to be done and was feeling a little uptight. but then i remembered the whole reason we were there. it isn't about walking the fastest or being finished. it is, like life, about the journey.
once i let go of it all, stopped worrying about how long we were out there and gave in to the experience, i found myself enjoying it all so much more. sure, we walked most of it at a 2-year-old's pace, were sweaty and hungry and a little sunburned (i only remember to screen up the babe...doh!) by the end of it, but we got to spend quality time together as a family (which seems tricky to fit in to our busy, busy lives), we got to feel the amazing sense of community, support and love amongst the walkers, especially the other family teams and did a little something to help out babies and families in need.
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| running toward the event |
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| he didn't quite get that i wanted him to hold it up for the camera. :) |
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| fam photo - 4.28.12 - nolan 26 months |
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| 2011 quilt square |
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| 2012 quilt square |
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| breaky before the big walk |
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| "walk curb. walk curb." and this is why it took us so long. :) |
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| he was so excited to stand on the firetruck! |
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| one by one, he peeled off the stickers and put them on his arm. and then one by one, he transferred them to mine. |
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| "yay!" all moved over. :) |
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| sticker/sofia ribbon bathroom self-portrait. :) |
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| curb-walkin' with mama |
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| got this SWEET headband as a free goody. he rocked it all afternoon. ha. |
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| he has such an arm, he threw every ball way past the target. ha. center-fielder in training?? |
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| daddy had to play too. :) |
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| man, this kid LOVES popcorn. |
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| and canteloupe. :) |
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| climbing. |
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| hugging. :) |
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| totally spent. |
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
meltdown city saved by local moms
twice in the last two weeks, i have had huge (i mean monster) emotional meltdowns. not a screaming and yelling meltdown, but a completely shutdown, tears shooting out of my eyeballs meltdown. probably needless to say, it has been pretty ugly.
both times the final straw was the sleepy time struggle, but i venture to guess that in all actuality, that was merely a small part of the whole picture. yes, toddler sleep can be a doozy all in itself but right now, there seems to be so much more. being a mommy who is committed to peaceful parenting, being a wife of an incredibly busy husband, trying to build a massage practice (a small one, but still), housework, cooking healthy homemade food to nourish my family...yadda yadda...the list goes on. where does anyone find time for it all? and then of course there is the general hustle and bustle of la life that often pushes me over my stimulation limit or at the very least wears on my patience.
sure, i can think of a number of quick solutions, but they all require me to give up something or some piece of something that i'm not sure that i'm willing to give up. and ironically, when i think about each thing individually, i love doing/being them all (with the exception maybe of the housework...but even that i don't really mind). but when you lump them all together they become a pretty heavy load. and then, on occasion, i get overwhelmed...which you guessed it, leads to meltdowns.
last night was intense. it even spilled over into today. luckily, last night in the midst of my spinning world, i resisted the temptation to hull up in the corner and chose not to cancel today's moms' group. this amazing group of women saved me today. they helped me slowly pull myself together. and now that i'm standing again, i would like to offer each of them a sincere and heart-felt thank you. i know i said it while you were all here, but here it is again. thank you, each and every beautiful one of you. all of your open hearts, open ears, advice, support, comradery, and love...THAT is exactly what a moms' group is about. THAT is what friendship is about. THAT is what moms should be doing for one another, not the judging and tearing down that happens amongst mothers so often.
i am so grateful to know you ladies. i'm so happy to call you my friends, my village. if we ever actually do end up moving away from here, i am going to miss you all so much. we are going to have to to skype moms' groups or something. ;) and once again...just for good measure, i'm sorry i dominated our group today with my (hopefully temporary) instability. :)
both times the final straw was the sleepy time struggle, but i venture to guess that in all actuality, that was merely a small part of the whole picture. yes, toddler sleep can be a doozy all in itself but right now, there seems to be so much more. being a mommy who is committed to peaceful parenting, being a wife of an incredibly busy husband, trying to build a massage practice (a small one, but still), housework, cooking healthy homemade food to nourish my family...yadda yadda...the list goes on. where does anyone find time for it all? and then of course there is the general hustle and bustle of la life that often pushes me over my stimulation limit or at the very least wears on my patience.
sure, i can think of a number of quick solutions, but they all require me to give up something or some piece of something that i'm not sure that i'm willing to give up. and ironically, when i think about each thing individually, i love doing/being them all (with the exception maybe of the housework...but even that i don't really mind). but when you lump them all together they become a pretty heavy load. and then, on occasion, i get overwhelmed...which you guessed it, leads to meltdowns.
last night was intense. it even spilled over into today. luckily, last night in the midst of my spinning world, i resisted the temptation to hull up in the corner and chose not to cancel today's moms' group. this amazing group of women saved me today. they helped me slowly pull myself together. and now that i'm standing again, i would like to offer each of them a sincere and heart-felt thank you. i know i said it while you were all here, but here it is again. thank you, each and every beautiful one of you. all of your open hearts, open ears, advice, support, comradery, and love...THAT is exactly what a moms' group is about. THAT is what friendship is about. THAT is what moms should be doing for one another, not the judging and tearing down that happens amongst mothers so often.
i am so grateful to know you ladies. i'm so happy to call you my friends, my village. if we ever actually do end up moving away from here, i am going to miss you all so much. we are going to have to to skype moms' groups or something. ;) and once again...just for good measure, i'm sorry i dominated our group today with my (hopefully temporary) instability. :)
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
growing sunflowers!
a couple of weeks back, we were lucky enough to hang out with some lovely friends, play in the dirt, plant some seeds, eat some delicious trader joe's orange chips and replant some flowers in pots (not necessarily in that order, but maybe). nolan even helped me with the sunflower seeds!
i opened the seed packet and to my amazement, poured out two little sunflower seeds just like the ones you pop into your mouth at a ball game. who knew!? not me. clearly, i'm well-versed in gardening - note the sarcasm. (sorry, mom. i know we planted a garden a fair number of my childhood years. apparently all of your hard work and knowledge was completely lost on me. :D)
when we got home, we put our new gardening experiment in our sunny bedroom window and in a mere 5 days, our seeds had sprouted! i was instantly reminded of planting a lima bean in a tiny milk carton in mrs. christy's 2nd grade classroom. i'm pretty sure i was just as impressed at age 30 as i was at age 8. another 5 days or so and our sprouts were way too tall and couldn't hold themselves up. again...i had no idea what to do with this problem. thanks to the advice of my lovely friend lisa (who was the bearer of the seeds, pot, soil, and orange chips in the first place), nolan and i re-potted them into larger pots today. sadly, one of them broke during my "staking" attempt. doh. we'll see what becomes of them.
lovely lisa also sent us home with a packet of marigold seeds and i have an easter lily bulb that i want to try to replant, so more gardening practice to come. maybe one of these days (with the help of pinterest...hehe), we'll sort out the vegetable garden of my dreams. one day. :)
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| placing the seeds. day 1. |
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| covering the seeds. |
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| watering the seeds...obviously. :) |
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| day 5. see that tiny little bit o' green popping up!? |
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| day 6. say what!? |
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| day 7. |
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| day 11. |
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| we were so inspired that we got some gardening tools from target on a recent shopping trip. |
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| re-potting our sunflowers! day 13. |
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| re-potted. this is my attempt at staking it... |
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| ...aaannd i broke it. whoops. we'll see what happens...*sigh |
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| our apartment maintenance guy game and weed whacked the devil out of our "back yard" so we actually got to go back there and play while we re-potted! it's a little uneven and rather dirty, but fun none-the-less. :) |
Sunday, April 29, 2012
the lessons they teach us...
this morning, we had to leave mass halfway through the homily
because nolan started "la la la"-ing and when i asked him to be quite
and listen, he got much, much louder. toddlerhood! *said shaking fist
later tonight, while eating dinner, nolan started screaming/yelling (we're cycling through that lovely phase again) and tried (i successfully caught it) flipping his plate of food upside down (another lovely, lovely trick of his lately). ugh.
yes, i realize that he was tired, had been processing (all. day. long.) a crazy busy, slightly overstimulating day yesterday and he was DONE skyping with grandma while trying to focus on dinner, but still...i don't do yelling and plate flipping.
by this point (with a couple other episodes throughout the day), i was OVER IT. i raised my voice and said, "NO!" and some other stuff i can't remember.
he didn't stop.
how many times am i going to lose my patience and try that? it never works! anyway, after i talked to him for minute and acknowledged what was going on and got off the computer, he calmed down.
a few minutes later, i was doing something. trying to get him to eat something or not do something, i don't remember (sometimes life with a 2-year-old is a blur :D) and he yelled, "NO!" at me and this is what i said:
"nolan, yelling 'no' isn't going to get you anything that you want. that isn't how we communicate to each other in this house."
oh, the lessons they teach us...listen to your own advice, mom.
i apologized and we went on to have a rather lovely dinner where i finished my food and so did he. yet another reminder for me to take a breath, assess what is going on and address it appropriately. easier said than done, i realize...but a goal.
later tonight, while eating dinner, nolan started screaming/yelling (we're cycling through that lovely phase again) and tried (i successfully caught it) flipping his plate of food upside down (another lovely, lovely trick of his lately). ugh.
yes, i realize that he was tired, had been processing (all. day. long.) a crazy busy, slightly overstimulating day yesterday and he was DONE skyping with grandma while trying to focus on dinner, but still...i don't do yelling and plate flipping.
by this point (with a couple other episodes throughout the day), i was OVER IT. i raised my voice and said, "NO!" and some other stuff i can't remember.
he didn't stop.
how many times am i going to lose my patience and try that? it never works! anyway, after i talked to him for minute and acknowledged what was going on and got off the computer, he calmed down.
a few minutes later, i was doing something. trying to get him to eat something or not do something, i don't remember (sometimes life with a 2-year-old is a blur :D) and he yelled, "NO!" at me and this is what i said:
"nolan, yelling 'no' isn't going to get you anything that you want. that isn't how we communicate to each other in this house."
...
oh, the lessons they teach us...listen to your own advice, mom.
i apologized and we went on to have a rather lovely dinner where i finished my food and so did he. yet another reminder for me to take a breath, assess what is going on and address it appropriately. easier said than done, i realize...but a goal.
Monday, April 23, 2012
help us help babies :)
it is that time of year again...
we are getting ready to participate in the march of dimes march for babies walk here in los angeles a little later this week. this will be our fourth year walking in honor of our daughter, sofia, who died in utero and was stillborn at 22 weeks. you can read more about our sweet sofia here, here, and here. this year, we are also walking to honor the daughter of dear friends who was born with trisomy 13 and lived a miraculous 13 days. after such a deep heartbreak, you have to find ways to honor your angel. this is one way we choose to do that.
the march of dimes is an organization that works to reduce premature births and birth defects. they research. they educate. they raise money - since 1970, they have raised $2 billion dollars. they offer support to families during pregnancy and after their children are born. and so much more.
according to their website, in 2010 $27 million was given in grants to do further research in the fields of premature birth, birth defects and infant mortality - how these situations develop and how to prevent them.
they were also busy in 2010 with "advocacy efforts to make sure women and children have access to needed health care services; delivering culturally specific programs of education to moms-to-be; and helping health care providers and patients understand the consequences of early elective delivery and the importance of the last weeks of pregnancy" in addition to serving "80,000 families through nicu family support sites in more than 100 hospitals across the county, providing information and comfort.
pretty amazing right!? so...how can you help this amazing cause?
well, the quickest and easiest way would be to donate to our family team for this year's "march"! you can donate to either me or anthony and it all goes to help our team's efforts! super fast. super easy. SUPER awesome. so far with the help of our amazing family and friends and sponsorships from dr. david ghozland, md; the center for maternal fetal medicine - kevin justus, md and the enterprise fish company, we have already raised $600 this year! but we are still $200 shy of our goal...and with only 5 days to go! please consider donating to help us and to help millions of babies and their families!
another way to help is to sign up to walk with your family or friends and raise your own donations! here is a link for more information about upcoming walks!
or..even better. do you really feel like getting involved? the march of dimes has volunteer leader positions available too! here is a link for more info about volunteering for your local chapter!
we are getting ready to participate in the march of dimes march for babies walk here in los angeles a little later this week. this will be our fourth year walking in honor of our daughter, sofia, who died in utero and was stillborn at 22 weeks. you can read more about our sweet sofia here, here, and here. this year, we are also walking to honor the daughter of dear friends who was born with trisomy 13 and lived a miraculous 13 days. after such a deep heartbreak, you have to find ways to honor your angel. this is one way we choose to do that.
the march of dimes is an organization that works to reduce premature births and birth defects. they research. they educate. they raise money - since 1970, they have raised $2 billion dollars. they offer support to families during pregnancy and after their children are born. and so much more.
according to their website, in 2010 $27 million was given in grants to do further research in the fields of premature birth, birth defects and infant mortality - how these situations develop and how to prevent them.
they were also busy in 2010 with "advocacy efforts to make sure women and children have access to needed health care services; delivering culturally specific programs of education to moms-to-be; and helping health care providers and patients understand the consequences of early elective delivery and the importance of the last weeks of pregnancy" in addition to serving "80,000 families through nicu family support sites in more than 100 hospitals across the county, providing information and comfort.
pretty amazing right!? so...how can you help this amazing cause?
well, the quickest and easiest way would be to donate to our family team for this year's "march"! you can donate to either me or anthony and it all goes to help our team's efforts! super fast. super easy. SUPER awesome. so far with the help of our amazing family and friends and sponsorships from dr. david ghozland, md; the center for maternal fetal medicine - kevin justus, md and the enterprise fish company, we have already raised $600 this year! but we are still $200 shy of our goal...and with only 5 days to go! please consider donating to help us and to help millions of babies and their families!
another way to help is to sign up to walk with your family or friends and raise your own donations! here is a link for more information about upcoming walks!
or..even better. do you really feel like getting involved? the march of dimes has volunteer leader positions available too! here is a link for more info about volunteering for your local chapter!
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| anthnony and i at our first walk - april 2009 |
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| our fam. nolan (2 months) looking up to our quilt square for sofia - april 2010 |
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| me and my boy (14 months) - april 2011 |
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| anthony and nolan 2011 - note...nolan could walk, but chose not to. ;) |
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| our fam. 2011 |
Saturday, April 21, 2012
"all in a day"
last week on a not-so-warm morning, we decided to forgo the beach and went to story-time at our local library. we hadn't been in a while and once again we (unknowingly) made it to the very last day of the session. lucky for us we didn't show up next week to no story-time...though i suppose we would just sit and read books on our own. anyway, i'm getting off topic here.
after a rousing story-time complete with stories, songs, some really cool puppets and one awesome purple flower sticker (that nolan kept on all day...and night), we ventured out into the children's section, searching for a new crop of books to borrow. a few weeks ago, our friend elly lent us a book about kitties (my bug LOVES kitties). it was one of the first non-board books that nolan really got to play with and much to my surprise (and pleasure), he didn't destroy it! whew! so this time at the library, we decided to explore a new section that was FULL of paper-paged books.
our exploration was cut short by nolan booking it (hehe) out of the kid's section, over to the windows on the far side of the library to watch a bus go by. *sigh. but it had lasted long enough for him to pull five or so books off the shelf and for me to start reading one of them. i didn't get all the way through it before i had to abandon all the others on the floor (sorry, librarians) and chase him, but i read enough of it to know that it was amazing and that we must check it out.
it is called "all in a day" by cynthia rylant and it changed my world that day. i have since concluded that all children should own (or borrow from the library) this book and read it everyday. maybe not just every child, but every adult too. first of all, i love the illustrations (by nikki mcclure). they are simple black and white cut paper illustrations on alternating yellow and light blue backgrounds. even a newborn baby could be mesmerized by these pages (hopefully there is a board book version also for the younger babes). and the message...forget about it. it is perfect.
this is possibly some sort of copyright infringement, but as i've cited where it is from, i'm going to risk it and share the words with you too...
after a rousing story-time complete with stories, songs, some really cool puppets and one awesome purple flower sticker (that nolan kept on all day...and night), we ventured out into the children's section, searching for a new crop of books to borrow. a few weeks ago, our friend elly lent us a book about kitties (my bug LOVES kitties). it was one of the first non-board books that nolan really got to play with and much to my surprise (and pleasure), he didn't destroy it! whew! so this time at the library, we decided to explore a new section that was FULL of paper-paged books.
our exploration was cut short by nolan booking it (hehe) out of the kid's section, over to the windows on the far side of the library to watch a bus go by. *sigh. but it had lasted long enough for him to pull five or so books off the shelf and for me to start reading one of them. i didn't get all the way through it before i had to abandon all the others on the floor (sorry, librarians) and chase him, but i read enough of it to know that it was amazing and that we must check it out.
it is called "all in a day" by cynthia rylant and it changed my world that day. i have since concluded that all children should own (or borrow from the library) this book and read it everyday. maybe not just every child, but every adult too. first of all, i love the illustrations (by nikki mcclure). they are simple black and white cut paper illustrations on alternating yellow and light blue backgrounds. even a newborn baby could be mesmerized by these pages (hopefully there is a board book version also for the younger babes). and the message...forget about it. it is perfect.
this is possibly some sort of copyright infringement, but as i've cited where it is from, i'm going to risk it and share the words with you too...
a day is a perfect piece of time
to live a life,
to plant a seed,
to watch the sun go by.
a day starts early,
work to do,
beneath a brand-new sky.
a day brings hope
and kindness, too...
a day is all its own.
you can make a wish,
and start again,
you can find your way back home.
every bird and every tree
and every living thing
loves the promise in a day,
loves what it can bring.
there is a faith in morningtime,
there is a belief in noon.
evening will come whispering
and shine a bright round moon.
a day can change just everything,
given half the chance.
rain could show up at your door
and teach you how to dance.
the past is sailing off to sea,
the future's fast asleep.
a day is all you have to be,
it's all you get to keep.
underneath that great big sky
the earth is all a-spin.
this day will soon be over
and it won't come back again.
so live it well, make it count,
fill it up with you.
the day's all yours, it's waiting now...
see what you can do.
oh man...and i was just looking on the book jacket for copyright date info and learned that the author lives in portland. of course she does. awesome. and the illustrator lives in olympia, washington. and that the book is printed on recycled paper. i love you, nw.
and here are a few of the pages, so you get a feel for how beautiful this book is. enjoy :)
and here are a few of the pages, so you get a feel for how beautiful this book is. enjoy :)
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