Monday, December 30, 2013


This week has been...uhm...rough. Nolan woke up on Christmas morning with a fever that then progressed to a nasty flu with phlegm everywhere, coughing that won't stop, days of seemingly everlasting fevers. He's on day 6 of couch potato-ing and sleeping most of the day away. The girls and I are on day 4. Anthony and my mom seem to be on day 1ish. I have found myself more than once falling into an ugly place of frustration, impatience and general negativity. It is an easy place to find myself after no sleep for what seems like forever, little independent adult time and the fact that this is round 6 of illness since October 1st (which in addition to our monthly out-of-pocket insurance premiums, we have spent (no joke) $1000 on doctor's visits for them to keep telling us, "it's just a virus" over and again). 

But...instead of dwelling on all that crap, this time, I will choose an attitude of gratitude. When I sit back and think about it, we have so very much to be grateful for!

*Family: Our families filled the base of our tree with toys, books and clothes to entertain and keep our babes warm and comfortable.

*My Mom: She is really where this post began for me. She has been unbelievable during this illness. When I was down for the count, a fevery mess who couldn't keep her eyes open even if I tried, she took my babes under her wing. She has put babies to sleep over and over without an ounce of frustration or anger when they wake back up for the 10th time in a row. She has sat up with babies for hours while I was with the other or while I was pumping for 45 minutes at 1:00 am (more on that later). She has cleaned the house, cooked meals, gone to the market, changed diapers and wiped more noses than anyone could ever count. She has done it all without a single ounce of being "put out" least not that she has shown me! Ha! She honestly is the most amazing woman I know. I hope that I can learn to be more like her.

*Anthony: He has been there for Nolan when I couldn't (whether under multiple babies or under a fevery haze). He has rearranged his work schedule and took a day off to help out. Which leads me to...

*Anthony's job: This one is a little tricky for me because so often I feel like his job is taking advantage of him and letting him down, but today, I choose gratitude for his co-workers who adjusted their schedules so he could be here for the holiday and then again on a sick day just days later. I am thankful that he has a job at all. So many well-qualified people don't. 

*Health: Uhm...I know. But it is relative, really. I am on a MoMs (moms of multiples) Facebook page and as of late a momma has been posting updates about one of her tiny little bubs having to be put on a ventilator at a hospital far from home. I can't even imagine. I think about a friend of mine who has cancer that has gone away and come back and is going through chemo again, but still maintains the most amazing, beautiful, loving attitude. I think about a childhood friend struggling so incredibly hard with the disease of addiction that has hurt her so much, but keeps on trying to beat it. My babes don't sleep much, they seemingly always have a cold and this flu has knocked the wind out of us, but we will keep our chins up. We will keep fighting our matter how big or small. And we will continue to think about and pray for and send love and light to our friends struggling with their own health battles too.

*Breastmilk: If you know me at all, you know how I feel about nursing. I support it without any "buts". However you wanna do it...wherever you wanna do get it. The evening of day one of this flu, the girls were (simultaneously) latched on for most of the day...and night. You may or may not know, but milk supply is a supply and demand type of a thing. body went, "Great! Babes need more milk, let's up production!" Normally this is a very useful mechanism. Unfortunately this particular instance occurred right before Alice went on an 18+ hour nursing strike and Lilah nursed about once. I thought I may actually combust. I was worried about adding clogged ducts or mastitis to my flu infection. I was in serious pain - it hurt to have my sweet baby girls laying on my chest. I was concerned that my supply would then go the opposite way and not be enough. And of course, I was so worried about my sicky, fevery babies who were refusing milk. Thankfully, I gave into the pump (which I HATE) ...45 minutes in the middle of the night later, I had pumped 13+ ounces of milk and felt significantly better. I took a heap of phytolacca homeopathics to help ward off infection and I googled "nursing strikes" and found a very informative, calming, reassuring article from Dr. Jay Gordon's website ( that put my mind at ease regarding the girls. Sooo...I'm thankful for the amazing resources that surround me now and have in the past - an amazing lactation consultant and incredible midwives who have taught me so much about breast health and natural remedies and the internet...when I'm careful and patient enough to find helpful, healthful, reliable sources...not so much the panic-inducing WebMD. And!! Now I have a bountiful amount of readily available milk for squirting up snot-filled noses and on blistery red bums after fevers and limited milky consumption. Sweet! I even have some in my nose!

*Waterproof pads: We have had more leaky diapers than ideal, but thankfully they have all happened right on top of an aptly placed waterproof pad! Nice!

*Christmas break: Luckily (well...not so much for her) all this madness is happening on my Mom's Christmas break and she is home. She truly is the Grandest of mommas.

Hopefully I can roll this gratitude train right on in to 2014! 

Happy almost New Year, y'all!

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