Friday, August 30, 2013

"mommy, i have a little bottle stuck up my nose". what?!

nolan woke me up this morning telling me his nose hurt and that he had a "little bottle" up it. i was tired and my eyes were blurry, but i was quite certain that there was no "little bottle" hanging from my kids face. also...the girls don't drink from bottles thus, there are no bottles sitting around the house.

i tried to ask him questions to figure out what in the world he was talking about. no luck. he then said, "i have to show you," walked out of the room and came back in with the (empty) "little bottle" portion of the newborn/infant liquid homeopathic camilia that i had given lilah late last night after being awake for hours (and hours). it was at that point that I realized (in my sleepy fog) what had happened. he had found the top somewhere in the other room, shoved the twist off top up his nose and then proceeded to push it waaaaaayyy up there with his finger trying to get it out.

i grabbed my iphone with its trusty flashlight app, laid him down and peered up his right nostril. you know what i found? nothing. just a great deal of snot. i asked again, "bug, are you sure you shoved the top of this up your nose?" and touched near the bridge if his nose. his flinch and "OUCH!" answered my question. cue panic. i tried to look up there again, tweezers in hand, but all I fished out was a booger. cue second flood of panic.

as we have yet to visit out new oregon doctor, i chose to call our old california doctor for some guidance, with a fear that they were going to send us to the closest urgent care/er for an x-ray and some crazy extraction. as we waited for the return call, i got the crazy wild idea (ha) to have him try and blow it out. a few hard blows and ta-dah!! out it came. thank heavens. 

hoping the fear of having someone take something crazy out if his nose will prevent any further occurrences... hopefully. and maybe it will help me remember to throw away small odd little things that are so tempting to small nostrils. oy.

below are the angle shots so you can really get a feel for the situation...and a picture next to my fingernail for size comparison. uhm...ouch. kids are weird.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

"'Cause you've got...personality!"

late last week, my baby girls turned four months old. i am endlessly amazed at how fast time has passed and yet how it seems like they have been a part if our family forever.

this twins business has been such a crazy and amazing adventure. the thing that i'm currently the most intregued by is the difference in their personalities. obviously they are separate little beings, but somehow it still almost shocks me. haha. as i think back to pregnancy, i suppose i could even see it then...or feel it to be more accurate. :) 

alice, aka: baby a. she was waaaaayyy more active in the womb, constantly kicking me. today, she is the roller (technically they both roll belly to back, but alice does it much more frequently and she also rolls back to belly...pretty much as soon as you lay her down). if she manages to stay on her back for more than a few seconds, she kicks like a pro soccer player...or swimmer... or something/someone else that/who kicks fast and frequently. :) she is more laid back in temperament, quieter, seemingly more patient and quicker to smile, but once she is angry/frustrated/overtired/etc, you better watch out! ha! she will tell you all about it! she is sleepiest during the day and likes to nurse to sleep. she HATES her carseat and rather enjoys cozying up in the ergo for walks and other adventures. she is an observer and seems like she takes in all of her surroundings.

sweet alice
alice 4 months
4 months
alice kicks -

lilah, aka: baby b. physically calmer from the start, i didn't feel her move nearly as much as sissy alice, but she made her presence (and determination) known with her many breach/vertex switches. she helped me out tremendously by staying vertex (head down) for the last couple months so i was able to continue on with my natural birth plans without a battle and then at the. very. last. minute. she surprised us all with her feet first! tricky little squirt! she REALLY wanted to come to enter the world her way! :) when trying to grab a toy, she moves with slow, careful deliberation and growls when it doesn't end as she wishes. her focus is incredible. she is a chatter seriously rarely stops talking. haha. she is super sensitive - easily overwhelmed and overstimulated, but also a cuddle bug. she LOVES grandma. she prefers being walked to fall asleep. she is a rather amazing night sleeper (most nights), but no so keen on the nap scene.
lilah bear
lilah 4 months
four months
determined lilah and the blue birdy -

but with all that said, they are also similar in a number of ways. they are enamored with their big brother. they seemingly hate to tandem nurse these days, which is rather inconvenient, but can you really blame them? it's way cozier to be nestled individually into mama's arms than laying on your back on a fancy pillow being smacked in the face by your sister's hand while a boob is dangled precariously in your face. ha. they love the bath, but hate the getting dressed part that follows. they are belly sleepers, through and through. they aren't such big fans of bouncy seats, swings or any other mechanism for being held other than human arms. they like being outside and will instantly calm down if they are melting and you take them out. they do not understand the function of a pacifier (probably because i refuse to offer it except as an emergency when stuck in the car mid-melt). they smile with their whole hearts and souls when you walk into a room after they wake up. and they have both completely stolen our hearts.

my sweet girls
"sharing" sophie :)
sissies - four months, 1 week - lilah left
sleepy sissies. four months, one week. alice left.
tummy time! four months, one week. alice left. 

sorry for the crazy delay, but HAPPY FOUR MONTHS, little gals!! it is going to be so incredible to watch you grow and to see stays the same and what changes. i'm sure you are going to have surprises for me at every turn!

Friday, August 9, 2013

my open apology to the facebook world and the blogosphere

it has been brought to my attention (however ungracefully) that i may owe all of you out there in cyberspace an apology.

in my efforts to be a real, authentic and a no walls up person/woman/mother, i have perhaps been too honest. my goal was never to hurt anyone, but instead to say the things that many of us think but don't say, to make it so my other mama friends (or anyone really) don't feel alone or like they are failing when times are tough. and of course... to get out some of my own emotions, work through things, vent and seek support when i need it. clearly... too much. too public. for this, i'm deeply, deeply sorry.

if i have made you angry, uncomfortable, anxious, frustrated, irritated, hurt or any other negative feeling, you have my most sincere apologies.

times have been a bit tough with a ton of transition in a very short period of time and we've been in a bit of a funk over here. but we are working through it all. i don't want anyone for a minute to think that our struggles make me love my children any less than whole-heartedly. they are my world. they are my everything. i want nothing but the absolute best for them and do everything in my power to make that happen.

motherhood is hard. harder than i ever imagined it would be. i know i'm not perfect. i know i have many, many areas with room for improvement. i lose my patience. i get frustrated. but motherhood is also the most incredible blessing i could have ever been given.  i consider it a great honor to shape these little ones' lives and i'm thankful for the lessons they teach me and that i get to be their mama.

so very many tears have been shed by me in the past 24 hours. relationships have been rocked to what i fear is the core, but through it all, i feel like my vision of what is important has become so much clearer and my confidence in the decisions we have made as a family has grown even stronger. and to top it off, in spite of the sad, hurt, angry emotions of today, i was able to put it behind me and me and my kids had an amazing day.

we may not have a lot of money or space or things. my kids may never go to the fanciest private school, drive brand new cars or wear designer clothes. they may not travel to europe until they can pay for it on their own. but they will get a great education. we will do fun activities as a family. they will be cultured. they will have a place to call home. if they have an activity or sport or whatever that they love and want to participate in, i will make it happen. and most importantly, they will feel loved and respected.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

preschool and potty learning

saturday morning we went to a kids' festival in the park down the street. there was all kinds of fun for littles and tons of information booths for all kinds of local businesses and organizations. as we were winding down, i thought i'd swing by and chat with a couple preschools out of curiosity. 

before the twins, i imagined we would probably do some sort of co-op style, really low-key preschool. now that the girls are around...attitudes have changed. ;) momma really needs a couple hours, a couple days a week sans spirited toddler. and...nolan is now three and a half. so as we work to figure out where we are going to land here in oregon, preschool is certainly on our minds. has recently been brought to my attention that most preschools require babes to be reliably using the toilet. well, crap (literally). we are slowly but surely working on it, but we are trying to respect nolan's timing, his readiness and the fact that he has had a ridiculous amount of transition in the last four months (and more yet to come). what does all that mean? well, it means that there is nothing near "reliable toilet use". i'm chatting with this gal about her pre-school and before i could even get to philosophy, etc., i asked about the potty situation. 

this was her response, "sure. we can help with that.

the child can wear pull-ups throughout the day and if they have a bowel movement, we will have to call you to come and change it". 

really? really? first, how is that helping? second, if you honestly are going to let my kid sit in poop for however long it takes you to get a hold of me and then have me drop whatever i'm doing (with twin babies) and drive to the school to change a diaper, i have zero desire for you to be a part if my child's development. why not just say, "sorry, we don't do diapers".

maybe this is not an out of the ordinary protocol and maybe i'm more irritated by this than most, but i just think it is silly...and disrespectful to me and my kid.


Thursday, August 1, 2013

bug's first swear

three years, five months and nine days. that is how long it took before nolan uttered his first "bad word". in all honesty, i'm shocked it took that long. we probably aren't the worst out there, but we certainly haven't watched our language as much as many (most?) parents do. 

picture this:

breakfast table. two days ago. bug was sitting in between grandma and me (all on our own sides of a square table). I was holding one of the girls (alice, i think, but not totally sure... i knew at the time, just don't remember now. ha!). something happened with said sister that caught me off guard (what that something was has also escaped my memory). 

me: "what the?" (and consciously stopped there)

nolan: "hell?" (but in his sweet toddler voice it was really more "hew" or "heow"... i'm terrible with phonetics)

me: "what was that, bug?" (with my face half covered trying desperately not to crack up)

nolan: "what the hell?"

haha! despite my best efforts, i busted up laughing. i then explained that those are "grown up words," apologized for saying them sometimes myself and then promised to try really hard not to say them again and requested that he do the same. astonishingly, that was the end if it and haven't heard it again... yet.

i really must say, of all the nasties he's heard, we got off pretty easy on this one. nice example setting, mom. guess it's time for me to shape up and fly right. ha.