three months! already!?

today (actually yesterday now. this blog was supposed to be done and posted last night) my little nuggets turned three months old. simultaneously, it is hard to believe that so much time has passed and yet it feels like a lifetime ago that i was birthing them. i have been meaning to write their birth story since the day they were born... i have started it and i wish it was complete to include in this post, but alas, it will have to wait for another day. :)

i mentioned in previous posts (here and here) that the start was anything but smooth. the first five-ish (?) weeks were really freaking hard, but i'm so glad to report that things have GREATLY improved. they sleep now, which is amazing. they sleep better than their 3.5-year-old brother! (they sleep so well that i'm pretty sure despite nursing them pretty much all day every day, my period will probably return any minute. boo. it stayed away for over two years with nolan! the price you pay for sleep, i guess. haha. anyway...). things are pretty great. i can't imagine what life would be like if there weren't two of them. not that there aren't struggles every single day, because there are, but we are working through. we have been in oregon with my mom for just over a week, which helps heaps. i'm already wondering how in the world i ever did this without her! wowsa...bedtime with two adults (daddy mostly works evenings/nights) is like a cake walk! well... maybe not cake, but soooo much easier than one! whew!

hmmm... this post is quickly becoming really rambley and all over the place. i'll re-focus.

three months. crazy.

they nurse like mad.

they sleep like little logs.

they smile with their whole bodies.

they LOVE their big brother (and he loves them like crazy too... but frequently forgets his size and strength :/).

sometimes they look so much alike that i almost can't tell them apart and i'm certain they are identical. other times (like today), they look so different i'm certain there is no way they are identical. ha!

 they are growing so incredibly fast. seriously. i feel like they look completely different than when we got on a plane in LA last week bound for our new oregon home. alice even rolled over twice yesterday! from her belly to her back! of course she has yet to repeat it despite my watchful eye (through a camera lens, of course). before i know it they are going to be crawling all over the place.

watching them grow is bittersweet really as this is the last time we'll experience each of these stages. and it is a great reminder to take it all in and work on being more present in every moment.

tonight as they were nursing before bed, they were dressed in these sweet little white t-shirts with a ducky on them. in november of 2008, my family surprised me with a baby shower for sofia. at that baby shower, i got duplicate sets of a pair of ducky jammies. one from my grandma and one from my mom. obviously and sadly, sofia never wore them. as i sat with them and watched them smile up at me in their sweet ducky shirts that seem to have always been meant for two, i remember my beautiful angel and i know that her soul is a part of these girls. i know she had something to do with the craziness what is me having twins out of the blue. it may have taken me 38 1/2 weeks of pregnancy and nearly three months of their lives, but i can finally fully see them as blessings and i believe with all my heart that i have her to thank.

sofia changed me. nolan changed me further. and these baby girls... i tell you what, they have most definitely changed me too. every time it think i'm going to break (losing sofia, figuring out how to parent, nearly going crazy with twin newborns and a toddler), i seem to come out stronger. seriously. world,  don't mess with me. the last five years have made me a force to be reckoned with fueled by the strength of motherhood. a strength that grows with every passing day.

happy three month bday, alice and lilah. thank you for choosing me to be your momma. thank you for believing in me when i haven't. thank you for teaching me every day. i love you. xoxo

alice smiling at gpa

milky lilah

cuddly babes

alice fourth of july (11 weeks 2 days)

lilah fourth of july (11 weeks 2 days)

lilah and bug

sleepy girls after a long day on our first evening as oregonians (11 weeks 6 days). lilah on the right...i think. ;)

my view looking down. lilah in lilac. :)

alice cuddled up napping on gpa. 

alice and daddy saying, "goodbye" at the airport as we had to send anthony back to california for a bit. :(

lilah and daddy "goodbye" (12 weeks, 1 day)

bug and alice

babes and bellies getting ready for bed. bug and alice. wowsa... bug's legs are sooooo long! 

baby girls cuddling in their sleep. lilah on the left (one day shy of 3 months)

baby girls! three months! alice is the upside down one. :)

sleepy three-month-olds! alice left.