Friday, April 22, 2011

my arms are aching or is it stinging from you biting me.  my eyes are swollen and burn from crying.  why, why, why, nolan do you bite your mommy?  it hurts my heart as much as it hurts my body.  today is not our best day.  but, in spite of all that.  i love you with all my heart.  just please, please stop biting me.  happy 14 months.


  1. I'm sorry, Kimberly! Shy-town has been scratching and pinching me with her little razor dagger nails and if I make her stop, she starts bawling uncontrollably. Needless to say, breastfeeding has not been much fun lately. I keep telling myself all the reasons why extended breastfeeding is better than weaning. I mean, it is better, right? Sighs.

    Stephen made me feel awesome (sarcasm) when he sighed and said, "This is the beginning of many future conflicts and power struggles. Nice, right? I guess we are lucky to have such smart little cookies that they started asserting their will early!

  2. oh girl...that sucks. yah, men really know what to say sometimes, eh? boo. i got your back mama! i think you're doing the right thing and i think you're amazing.

    for us, it's not so much nursing that we're struggling with as trying to go to sleep. if he sleeps slightly too long during the first nap, getting him down for his second turns into a total nightmare. likewise if 2nd nap ends slightly late, bedtime = boo.

    he nurses fairly peacefully (thank god), and then just as his eyes are about to close, he pops up and wants to run around. i can see how tired he is, so i try to not to give in. i'd say 80...well, maybe 75% of the time walking with him for a second will lull him back into wanting to nurse and he'll go to sleep. the other 25% of the time he bites me...and bites me.

    i'm at such a loss for what to do.
    i've tried not reacting and saying "nolan, that hurts me, please don't bite mommy". that generally ends continued biting.

    i've tried holding his head back as he tries to bite and saying, "i'm not going to let you bite me (ala rye and janet lansbury). that he thinks is a game and it ends in him laughing hysterically...which really pisses me off.

    i'm unsure of how i feel about timeouts in the first place, but tried them a few times anyway. most of the time, he immediately screams his brains out when i put him in the empty pack n' play in our room and walk out the door. you know how i feel about the ol' cry it out method so, i only let it last 30 seconds and then i go back in. that seemed to work on two occasions, but the last two times he just hangs out in there. good, right? well, he does that for 5-10 minutes and then he melts down...i go in, pick him up and he bites me more, putting us right back where we were with a tired yet awake baby and my shoulders and arms nearly bleeding.

    big ol' sadface.

  3. Sorry he's biting. Hope you find something that works soon.

    He's still taking two naps?! I know all babies are different and that it can be normal to be taking two at his age, but is he on the upper end of the age spectrum for 2 naps/day? Ava's been doing 1 nap for a while now. She takes one 2+ hour long nap starting around 11:30 or noon. Maybe you should try gradually putting him down later and only doing one nap. Overtired DEFINITELY doesn't work (which is not your problem obviously ;p) but hopefully in the process of getting into the 1 nap habit he won't get over tired. It sounds like he's trying to get to one nap. He's sleeping longer with the first nap because that's becoming his one long nap. Ava's morning nap moved down into the afternoon nap gradually and the 2nd nap disappeared (rather than the other way around). I've known a few babies who've done it that way. Sounds like Nolan is doing it right now.

  4. What I meant to say was Ava's morning nap gradually moved later as the second nap disappeared all together, rather than the 2nd nap moving up earlier and the morning nap disappearing. Make sense? I'm hungry... I can't think ;p
    Also, it gradually got longer in length. Going from 1 40 minute nap to a 1 hour nap, to a 90 minute nap, to 2 hours.

  5. maggie~ thanks for the info. we actually went through something similar to this right around his first birthday (except he was biting my nipples instead of my shoulders, therefore i had even less patience with it). i thought that moving him to one nap would solve it as i felt like i was spending all day trying to get the baby to sleep.

    it worked a bit, but after a couple of weeks he started falling asleep only 30 minutes to an hour after waking up in the morning in order to do one longer nap later. and he would only stay down long enough to succeed with the one nap bit if i was laying with him. otherwise, he would fall asleep at 11 and wake up at 11:45 and then be tired by 4:00, which is not ok because then he doesn't sleep at night.

    so...i tried to just go with it and we seemed to make it work on about an every other day schedule. one day would be one nap, the next two. then i felt like i was losing my mind trying to coerce him into waiting to fall asleep at 11:00ish when he seemed ready by 9:00ish. he eventually worked himself back to a consistent two. we were rocking two for a couple weeks with no problem. the kid was like clockwork. it was so nice. i could actually plan things (except that i ended up with a mastitis infection and then he got a nasty cold, so there wasn't a whole lot that we could do...whatever). then, wham...the last couple days have been yucky...and painful. :)

    i'm trying to just follow his lead and at this point it doesn't seem like one nap is in his game plan, but i'll certainly keep it in mind...

    i think i just need to do a better job of being done with breakfast, dishes, and diaper change by 8:45 instead of 9:00 and work on winding him down for a nap a hint earlier on the first go. we'll see.

    it seems like, in retrospect that this biting situation reared it's head last time right before new teeth appeared (big surprise, eh?). not that it is a good excuse or ok, but perhaps at least a potential reason. before we solved it by upping the time with the amber teething necklace to 24/7. sadly, he is now too aware of the necklace, grabs it, puts it in his mouth and chomps on, no more necklace. we're totally screwed as we have canines and molars left. doh!

  6. my first comment, i meant RIE, not rye. i have not been taking parenting advice from bread. ;)

  7. Hey lady -- so glad you clarified re the RIE thing. so funny :)
    RE biting i am a big advocate for consequences - with Eliana, I tell her that if she bites me, we will take a break from nursing till the next time. and then offer a teething toy to bite on, slathered with dr. hyland's gell. that seems to help, and saves me from sore nursies! then if she bites again i do actually stop until her next request or regular nursing time- so it's a natural consequence (if you bite you don't get to nurse) which i follow through with.
    hope that helps
    lotsa love